News Stories
Bullying Victim Stands Up for Others: Adrianna's Story
The young woman at the podium must have worried, at least for a moment, whether her story would resonate. But as Adrianna Sgarlata spoke poignantly about being bullied-almost fatally, while her cries went unheeded-her listeners paid rapt attention. Experts from around the country had gathered at the Hamilton Fish Conference at George Washington University in Washington, DC, to discuss safety in the schools. And Sgarlata's words served as vivid testament to the critical significance of their work.
As the current Miss Virginia and a master's-trained operatic singer, Sgarlata wouldn't seem to fit anyone's vision of victim. In truth, as Hamilton Fish Institute on School and Community Violence director Dr. Beverly Caffee Glenn reminded the audience, no single victim profile exists. Virtually any child can find him- or herself on the receiving end of bullying. And the harm can be complex and ongoing. As a mountain of studies makes clear, there is a link between those who suffer bullying and those who later inflict it on others.
Wishing She Could Disappear
Raised across the Potomac River from DC in the upscale community of Fairfax, Virginia, Sgarlata detailed a harrowing period of victimization that began in fifth grade. That year, the formerly confident and lively student became intimidated and withdrawn. During lunch periods, she all but tried to erase herself, squeezing into a distant corner of the cafeteria.
Even today, at 23, Sgarlata recalls furtively eating her peanut-butter sandwiches, sometimes in a tight crouch. "I just wanted to disappear," she said of that time. "I did whatever it took to be inconspicuous, to not call attention to myself."
Unbeknownst to her teachers or her family, Sgarlata had entered a two-year period of crushing harassment, most of which occurred on the school bus. Almost daily, the same small group of children taunted her, threw things, and even spit food and gum in her hair.
The cumulative effect of the incidents eroded her self-esteem and even prompted suicidal thoughts. "I am not saying I seriously considered taking my own life," Sgarlata explained. "But I truly understood why someone would become so distraught that they could imagine no other option."
Like many victims of bullying, Sgarlata sought to avoid school. She told her parents she had a stomachache, or manufactured other physical problems. Sgarlata said she never discovered why she was singled out for hostile treatment by the children on the bus. But she remembers with crystal clarity why the torment stopped.
The Breaking Point
Waking one morning in acute pain, Sgarlata was bundled off to class. But when their daughter was still complaining two mornings later, her worried parents sought medical advice. They discovered Sgarlata was most certainly not feigning sickness. She was actually critically ill; an untreated burst appendix was threatening her life.
Sgarlata's parents were shattered by their daughter's close call. As they pressed for details, the whole two-year saga of bus abuse came tumbling out. "I finally had the words to explain what was happening to me. Finally there were people who were listening to me."
The story Sgarlata told prompted changes not only on the bus, but on her school campus. Shortly thereafter she graduated into middle school. The memories of what happened to her began to disappear.
The Victim Becomes the Advocate
Although Sgarlata's scars faded, they did not entirely heal. She was studying music in college when unpleasant reminders of the traumatic time began to dominate her thoughts. Reading about the suicides of other children, Sgarlata realized how few stories about bullying ended the way hers had. And she became determined to persuade others of the importance of antibullying efforts.
Few people believed Sgarlata would be successful lobbying for a Virginia law against bullying. But a daily round trip to the state capitol-Richmond-paid off in a ringing endorsement of her determination. In 2005 Virginia joined the 50 percent of US states possessing antibullying legislation, in large part due to Sgarlata's advocacy.
The role of advocate has come easily to Sgarlata, who designated respectful treatment of others as the platform for her Miss America appearance. Sgarlata freely admits she appropriates publicity about the pageant into opportunities to address bullying.
Praise for Bullying Prevention Programs
At the Hamilton Fish Conference, Sgarlata spoke eloquently on behalf Committee for Children. "It is very easy for me to be loud about ending bullying. I want everyone to know how disrespectful it is and the devastating harm it can cause."
"Bullycide," a term Sgarlata uses to describe the deaths of victims who see no other way out of their situations, haunts her most. "At a certain point you cannot be tough anymore. You cannot endure anymore. What if things had suddenly gotten even worse for me?"
Curricula like Committee for Children's STEPS TO RESPECT program, which engages the whole school in the effort, hold the key to turning the tide against bullying, Sgarlata believes. "The subject is so large and so comprehensive. We are talking not only about the behavior and suffering of individuals, but the community where these things take place. How much bullying is a child exposed to in and out of school?"
The forms of bullying are constantly changing, and any credible prevention effort means being vigilant about recognizing its new forms, Sgarlata asserts. "Look at how powerful cyber bullying has become, and in such a short time."
A Compulsion to Help
When all of the adults who shape a child's life are engaged in preventing bullying, change can occur, Sgarlata says. "In my case, the bus driver could have helped had he known what to look for. But I had resources many children don't. I feel compelled now to work as hard as I can to make sure all children have protection, no matter what their circumstances."