Committee for Children Blog

Social-emotional goals may be the most important goals of all!

Many school districts now encourage student goal-setting conferences in the fall where the child, the parent/caregiver, and the teacher sit down together to establish goals for the student to work on all year long. It is a wonderful time of discussing the child’s strengths and areas to work on academically, socially, and emotionally while teaching the life skill of goal setting.

Not only does goal setting allow students reflect on where they are currently in academic areas like reading, writing, and math; it also helps them reflect on how they are doing socially and emotionally. This is so important!

In my classroom, all children usually create two academic goals and one social-emotional goal. I say “usually” because there are times when a child wants to focus more on their social-emotional development, and that is always welcomed. As we know each child is learning and developing at a different rate and has different individual needs. That is what is so great about goal setting: it gives the teacher a chance to address each child individually.

Goal setting also allows the student to be involved in the process, which creates ownership. My students sign their name to their goals (yes, even in kindergarten), and we discuss that a contract is a promise, and they must work on these goals daily. I sign the goal sheet and often the parent does too, making a promise that we will support the student in achieving these goals.

Writing, reading, and math goals often come easy. But creating social-emotional goals can be more difficult. As teachers, we do not have the time to reinvent the wheel and create all these new goals. But if you’re using the Second Step curriculum already, creating goals aligned with the lessons in the program works wonderfully.

Below are some examples of social-emotional goals that children have made in my classroom that match up perfectly with lessons taught in the Second Step program:

·         I will listen to the teacher. I will do this by using my eyes, ears, quiet voice, and body to show I am listening.

·         I will be more focused. I will do this by using “self-talk” and using my eyes, ears, and brain.

·         I will follow directions. I will do this by repeating directions (out loud or in my head) and by using my eyes, ears, and brain.

·         I will ask for help when I need it. I will do this by facing the person I am talking to, standing up straight, and using a calm, firm voice and respectful words.

·         I will be able to identify my feelings when asked.

·         I will show compassion. I will do this by listening to others, saying kind words, and helping others.

·         I will manage my strong feelings (anger, frustration, etc.). I will do this by putting my hands on my tummy and saying, “Stop,” naming my feeling, belly breathing, counting, and positive self-talk.

·         I will use calming-down strategies or talk to a trusted adult at home or at school if I am worried or anxious.

·         I will solve problems by first calming down, then using my problem-solving steps: S for say the problem, T for think of solutions, E for explore consequences, and P for pick the best solution.

Children keep the same goals up all year long, so display them on their desks or on a wall or bulletin board and refer to them frequently. This is a great opportunity to integrate the three steps teachers use that are emphasized in the Second Step curriculum: ANTICIPATE, REINFORCE, and REFLECT.

For instance, if a child has the goal of “When I get frustrated I will put my hand on my belly and take deep breaths,” and you know writing time is one of those moments when the child tends to get frustrated, then reminding the child ahead of time by referring to the goal helps him or her think ahead about using the skill. When you observe the child taking deep breaths, along with verbal reinforcement, you can also point to the goal and giving a thumbs-up and a smile. And of course, if the child does not choose to use the deep breaths and for example, crumples the paper instead, you can help the child reflect by reminding him or her of the goal made and the promise to work on it.

Happy goal setting and best wishes working to support these social-emotional goals with your students! I often find that these goals are the ones in the end that become the most important. I have no doubt that, with social-emotional goals created and supported in your classroom, more children will achieve, love learning, and find success.