TALKING ABOUT TOUCHING
Sample Lessons
Lesson 11: Standing Up for Yourself by Saying "No"
Bold type indicates what the teacher says during the lesson.
Concept
Standing up for yourself can help keep you safe.
Objectives
Children will be able to:
- Demonstrate assertive behavior.
- Determine when to use assertiveness.
Materials
You will need the following:
- Full-length mirror
- Puppet (optional)
- Copies of Take-Home Letter 6: Assertiveness
Notes to the Teacher
The lessons in Unit III give children a chance to practice assertiveness skills in a variety of situations. Assertiveness, or standing up for oneself, includes using nonaggressive words, strong body language, and a convincing tone of voice when responding to the words or actions of another. Children need many opportunities to practice these skills in order to be able to use them effectively. This lesson reinforces the importance of children learning to speak out rather than being passive or aggressive.
Warm-Up/Review
In our last safety lesson, Rosa did not keep the secret about her foster mom's friend touching her. Why was the secret unsafe? (He was touching her private body parts. He broke the Touching Rule.) Whom could Rosa go to, besides her foster mom, for help? (Dad, grandma, caregiver, teacher, school counselor, minister.)
Story and Discussion
We have learned that sometimes children have to say "No," even when speaking to a person who is bigger or stronger than they are. Today we are going to continue practicing saying "No." Let's see what Shawna did when someone touched her in a way she didn't like.
Show picture. Shawna and her sister Roberta were playing together and having fun. Roberta started tickling Shawna, and Shawna didn't like it. She said, "No, I don't want you to tickle me." Roberta stopped when she heard Shawna say "No." She was following their family rule, which is: When someone says "No" or "Stop," the other person has to stop.
- Why did Roberta stop tickling Shawna when she asked her to stop? (They have a family rule about touching. She didn't want to make Shawna mad or hurt her.) In our class, we are going to learn to use this rule. If someone touches you and you don't want to be touched, you can say "No." When you say "No," it's called being assertive or standing up for yourself. To be assertive, you need to use a strong voice and look like you mean what you say.
- How does Shawna look in the picture? (Serious. Like she means what she says.)
- Do you think her sister believes Shawna really doesn't want to be tickled anymore? (Yes.) Why? (The way Shawna is looking at her. Shawna said "No" in a strong voice.)
Let's all practice saying "No" in a strong voice.
Skill Practice
Model for children. I am going to show you two different ways of saying "No." First, say "No" while looking down at the ground and using a meek, unconvincing voice. Now I am going to show you how to say "No" in an assertive way. Stand tall, put your hands on your hips, look directly at the class, and say "No."
Have children practice. Now I'd like each of you to come up to the front of the room and take turns saying "No" to me when I ask you a question. Remember, stand tall, look right at me, and say "No" in a strong voice. Give children feedback on how assertive they are as they practice their responses.
- Let's go play with these matches I found in the kitchen.
- Do you want to hold my dad's new gun?
- Do you want to throw rocks through that old man's window with me?
- Let's run across the street before the light turns green.
- Let's tease that new kid in our class.
Summary
Today we practiced saying "No" in an assertive way. Remember, when you say "No," use a strong voice, look right at the other person, and stand tall.
