Second Step E-Newsletter
September 2011
Confessions of a Former Bully
by Trudy Ludwig. Illustrated by Beth Adams
Reading level: Grades 3–8
Katie’s been caught. After bullying her friend Monica one too many times, she is called in to a conference with her parents and the school principal. At first, Katie is defensive: “But I wasn’t bullying,” she says. “I didn’t hit her or anything.” Her principal explains relational aggression. “[Bullying is] also about hurting with your words and behavior.”
One of the consequences Katie is given is to meet weekly with the school counselor to learn more about bullying. Another consequence is to figure out how to make up for the hurt she has caused. Katie is flummoxed until she realizes she can transform what she learns from the counselor into a book for kids to help them understand why bullying is not okay and what they can do to stop it. Thus, Confessions of a Former Bully is born.
Coming to a Realization
Katie gradually learns that when she bullies others, she’s also hurting herself. She is sad to realize that she doesn’t have any close friends because she’s pushed them away with her behavior. Her school counselor helps her find a better way to be a friend. Katie describes bullying: “Bullying happens whenever someone hurts your body, your feelings, your reputation, or your friendships ON PURPOSE.” She learns—and imparts—lots of facts about emotional, physical, and cyber bullying: how often it happens, who might bully or be bullied (answer: anyone!), why kids bully, and what to do when someone is bullying you or another person.
A Practical Guide to Handling Bullying
Trudy Ludwig, well-respected author of several books on bullying, including My Secret Bully, the prequel to Confessions, has hit the mark again, this time from an important perspective: that of the person doing the bullying. The book is a remarkably practical guide to handling bullying, packaged in a fun scrapbook format with doodles and drawings, and faux Think About It and Quick Facts cards “taped” throughout. Readers of all ages, from both sides of the bullying equation, will appreciate her straightforward messages and clear information. The section on responses to bullying is particularly useful in its variety, range, and specificity. As usual, Ludwig includes an informative author’s note and list of resources, including books for children and for adults, Web sites, and organizations.
Classroom Activity
Katie’s school counselor provides her with a virtual tool belt of “totally awesome empower tools” that allow the user to respond to bullying without resorting to mean behavior herself. Katie says “Bigger kids like you and me can handle all eight tools,” but younger children might want to stick with the first four. After reading the book together, set up eight (or four, for younger classrooms) stations, each labeled with one of the tools:
- “Stop!”*
- “Why? Why? Why?”
- Walk Away
- “So,” “Whatever,” “Huh,” “Who cares?”
- Change the Subject
- Act Silly or Goofy
- Turn an Insult into a Compliment*
- Agree*
Come up with an insult that won’t actually touch any nerves (“You have green ears!” or “You’re a dibble-dop!”) and have students take turns in each station practicing responding to the putdown. (“You have green ears.” “Thank you for noticing! I think they’re like emeralds.”). Remind students that some of the tools (the ones with asterisks) should only be used if they feel comfortable and safe using them. And if a tool is not working, they should not keep using it, but try another instead.
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