The Recipe for Creating Positive Teacher-Student Relationships | By: Committee for Children All of us, if we were lucky, had teachers with whom we shared positive, supportive relationships. When in their presence and in their classrooms, we thrived: We learned more and enjoyed school more. But what were the ingredients that went into creating these positive relationships? Researchers over the years have worked to uncover teachers’ strategies for developing positive relationships with their students. It turns out that it’s a simple recipe with a handful of powerful ingredients. The ingredients are discreet and observable teacher behaviors and attitudes and include the following: Showing empathy and compassion for their students Being a safe person for students Knowing students as individuals, such as whose grandpa is sick or who had a weekend soccer game Setting high learning and behavioral expectations for every student Studies also reveal that this recipe has a beneficial impact on students’ lives in school. Students who have positive and supportive relationships with their teachers: Feel safer in the classroom Display better classroom behavior Come to school more often and stay in school longer Get along better with their peers and have fewer conflicts Get involved in fewer risky behaviors such as substance abuse and violence. Have improved self-esteem and a greater feeling of well-being Are more engaged in learning, understand better what is being taught, and have higher academic achievement Knowing the recipe and its impact is the start of creating positive teacher-student relationships, but let’s look more closely at the teacher behaviors and attitudes that make up each ingredient. Showing empathy and compassion This involves consistently taking the time to feel and understand how your students are feeling, putting yourself in their shoes, listening deeply to understand their perspectives, and responding with compassion and caring. When a student feels understood and cared for by his or her teacher in this deep way, it immediately creates a positive bond. Being a safe person Students can’t learn if they don’t feel safe with you. Instead of their attention being focused on the lesson or activity at hand, it is focused on their feelings of anxiety and discomfort. Being a safe person for your students involves your facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and choice of words and actions. For example, you can: Smile frequently with your mouth and eyes (a true smile always involves the eyes) Display relaxed, non-threatening body language Use a calm, non-threatening tone of voice Choose respectful, nonjudgmental words to address your students and to describe challenging behaviors Use respectful, non-threatening actions in response to challenging behaviors Knowing your students as individuals Getting to know your students as individuals does not happen by chance. It involves a conscious focus and sometimes a deliberate plan. Ask them questions about themselves, their interests, and their life outside of school on a routine basis. Write brief notes so that you can remember what they tell you, and follow up with specific questions. Make a plan to spend short amounts of time with each student individually and track with whom you have spent time so no one is missed. Just five minutes with you once in a while, just for fun, makes a big difference! Setting high learning and behavioral expectations Your students need to know that you firmly believe they are capable of reaching challenging goals for both learning and behavior. So make these goals or expectations very clear. Provide scaffolding, including emotional support, to help them reach these goals. Model the behaviors you expect. Notice and positively reinforce students’ efforts to reach their goals. Let them know that their brains are like a muscle: The more they work hard and struggle to reach their goals, the stronger and smarter their brains will get. Celebrate with them when goals are reached, such as a correctly answered math test that demonstrates mastery, or a day with no melt-downs. Every day is a new day to build positive relationships with your students. Every teaching moment contains an opportunity to put the recipe into practice. So put yourself in your students’ shoes every day, smile at them with your eyes, ask about their pets, and remind them daily that effort and struggle grows their brains! These simple ingredients combined make up a powerful recipe for creating positive relationships with your students. They’ll benefit from its impact in school and for their lifetimes.