A Story About Bullying: Part 2

| By: Committee for Children

In Part 1 of this story, I shared some of the experiences of Connor’s parents, as well as my own, when hearing about his bullying situation. Now, I would like to look at what happened at the school level…

After hearing about this situation, I found myself wondering “What is the school climate like?” Research has shown that positive school climate is related to lower rates of bullying. Without that positive climate, bullying can thrive.

I was also not surprised to hear that incidents were occurring despite the school’s communicated efforts about bullying prevention.  Adults have good intentions when confronted with bullying situations. However, bullying is complex, and requires long term prevention and intervention.  This is more comprehensive than what is generally needed to address typical conflicts. I realized this after many years when my position evolved, and I was able to commit much of my time toward bullying prevention work. Now I know, for example, that sitting the student who is bullied down with the student who is bullying is not an effective strategy.

In Connor’s story, the teacher responded by apologizing for calling him out in class. He mentioned that one of the students who was bullying had not been taking his medication, and thought his bullying behavior may stop once he is again medicated. The school also instituted a new lunch policy: Students could sit by whomever they wanted, unless they misbehaved. The teacher also mentioned that there were anti-bullying posters throughout the school and that a few staff created and taught lessons around bullying.

My friends left the school meeting feeling somewhat satisfied that the teacher was receptive. However, after a few days, Connor reported he was still being bullied, and began asking if he could go to another school. I was not surprised by this given the information I had about the last meeting. Posting anti-bullying posters is a great start, but without a consistent staff response to bullying, it will likely continue. There is a need for an anti-bullying policy, and consistent policies and procedures about how bullying will be addressed school-wide. Students also need to feel safe reporting to anyone. If only half the staff are validating and affirming students for reporting bullying and the rest tell students to “just ignore it” a very inconsistent message is sent which inevitably discourages students from reporting incidents.

A second parent-teacher meeting was scheduled. Connor’s parents focused on the bystanders. The school committed to engaging bystanders by asking a few students to walk with Connor to and from the lunchroom, and to sit by him in class. The administrator and teachers began to encourage students to report incidents, while promising to maintain their privacy. The school is also reviewing curricula that teach about being a positive bystander and other social skills. This is so important because we know that higher levels of empathy are associated with less bullying. Lessons can also help students learn key friendship and assertiveness skills that could help buffer them from bullying.

This is not the end of the story. Instead, it is a beginning. It often takes a few years to fully implement a bullying prevention program, and to see significant reductions in bullying. It can also be challenging for staff to find the time given all the other demands they are faced with on any given day. However, every effort is a positive step toward making a difference. I commend this school for taking the initial steps. This will pay off!   

Thanks again to Connor’s parents for letting me share their story and learning experience. I wish the family and the school the best of luck with their hard efforts.