Responding to Situations That Could Involve Bullying | By: Committee for Children A few days ago, I was walking into an elementary school building as students were preparing to start the day by lining up on the playground with their classrooms. Immediately after getting out of my car, I noticed a little girl sitting on the ground, crying hysterically. She was sitting next to another student, and her head was lying on this student’s shoulder. There were at least 10 other students standing there, watching the crying girl. Two of the boys who were watching kept pointing their fingers at each other, saying “He did it!” I asked the crying girl what happened, and she began to cry more loudly. Eventually, she was able to calm herself down and tell me that one of the boys put leaves down her and her friend’s jackets. As this was occurring, the girl’s friend was yelling “I’m telling my teacher!” over and over, and several of the student observers were anxiously tapping my back and trying to give me more details about what happened, all talking at the same time! Then, I noticed the two boys who had pointed fingers at one another, trying to remove themselves from the situation by walking away as quickly as possible. After some time, I was finally able to help the students resolve the situation and to talk with their teacher about it. The crying girl was back to smiling, and she had a few ideas of what she could safely do if this happened again. The boy who put the leaves down her jacket apologized, and some of the observers said they would tell the boy to stop or get help from an adult if they saw this happen again. Upon reflecting on this situation later in the day, I wondered if I handled it correctly. At first glance, it seemed to be a conflict situation, but did I ask the right questions to determine whether this was bullying? Did the students feel safe upon leaving the situation? Would the crying girl tell an adult if this did happen again? I realized that even if this wasn’t bullying, it would not have been a bad idea to follow the four recommended steps that Committee for Children suggests for responding to bullying. As you encounter similar situations in your typical day which require you to think fast and respond immediately, I hope that you find the sample questions below to be a helpful tool. Step 1: Affirm the student’s feelings I can see that you are worried You did the right thing by telling me about this I’m glad you came to me and asked for help with the situation Step 2: Ask questions Tell me more about what happened. Where did it happen? Who was involved? Has this happened before? How long has it been happening? Has this happened anywhere else? Did anyone else see this happening? What have you tried to do about this in the past? Did it work? Step 3: Assess the student’s safety What could adults do to help you feel safe? Are you worried this will happen again? Do you feel safe going back to…? Step 4: Act – Possible actions could include… Decide if it is safe for the child to return to the environment (ex; to go home on the bus) Call the parent(s) Ask the student who is bullying to write a plan for how he/she might do something different next time Write a referral if is deemed necessary