Reflection | By: Committee for Children Like our students, the end of the year brings on many feelings for us educators. We feel excited because it is a summer break, no alarm clock perhaps, maybe coffee with a friend? We get to partake in a long lunch without the fear of the bell (and maybe it’s even in a restaurant), catch up with family, maybe even read a few professional books or even some just for fun! Maybe there are trips ahead or maybe there are days with nothing at all planned that feel just as good. Summer is here and it is time to rest and rejuvenate. What many don’t realize is that for educators, the end of the year also brings a sense of loss and exhaustion. The loss comes from having to say goodbye to our kids. Yes, our kids. These kids whom we’ve built relationships with and worked so hard all year long helping them grow in so many areas: socially, emotionally, and academically. Many times we’ve seen tremendous growth, and other times we were really just beginning to see a spark in an area. We may wonder what could have been. What if? Will they keep progressing? Will that joy for learning live on? Yes, they will come back and visit, wave through the window, and hopefully come up to us at lunch or find us in the hallway to tell us about the new book they are reading, but it will never be the same. We will never have the same day-to-day interactions with those children who were in our minds and hearts every day since they entered the classroom on the first day of school. It is great loss for many educators. We must hope that we did our best with the time we had with our students. We may feel that loss right away or not until a few weeks after the classroom has been cleaned and sorted, or even after taking a trip. I remember my first year weeping as the bus pulled away on the last day. I never knew how much I cared; how these kids had become my kids. My first year was the hardest and after that, the parting got easier. I heard that happens. The parting may have gotten easier but I still thought of every student I taught as my kid. How could you not when you’ve spent so much time and invested so much? Anyway, I am here to say that it is okay. And it’s good to understand your own emotions. Relationships in your life have changed. With any relationship, we must reflect on what worked, what was learned, and what was gained, and even how we could improve. Take the time for yourself and for your students, to reflect, and most of all for your future students. Don’t be the person who doesn't have time to grieve because there are so many other details. The silence is around us and the children are gone. We must live with all decisions that went on the past year: Every action or word that was expressed to a child or parent, to a colleague, and/or to a principal. We must sit and wonder if we truly made a difference. How would we know? From the evaluation? From the end of the year presents and cards given? Really, we will never know the impact we’ve had. Some questions you could ask yourself as you take the time to reflect: What emotions are you feeling now? What did you do really well this past year? What would you have done differently? If you could change anything going into the next year what would it be? What can you do over the summer to learn more and grow more yourself? The best advice I ever received in education was during my student teaching, 16 years ago, from my mentor teacher who told me to “Pick one thing each year and do it well.” This year I pick reflection. What will you choose?